Once, while walking through the leafy precincts of Auckland's real university, I was approached by an American tourist.

"These things on the ground," he pointed to the acorns lying in their hundreds around the ancient oak trees, "are these pecans?"

I believe that because I actually thought of saying, yes, very tasty local varieties, and you should try one at once, I have been sent a brochure through the post for Collin St Bakery Native Texas Pecan Cakes. I can think of no other reason.

The photos in the brochure make the pies look almost edible, though their splendour gives you some idea why Americans are so round and perhaps why they ask brain-addled questions like, are these pecans?

I thought, because Collin St Bakery is in Texas, perhaps I should order one of these extraordinarily calorific cakes (they deliver worldwide). Perhaps I should do my bit for the poor Yanks. But it's in Corsicana, in Navarro County, which according to the local paper has been largely spared from Rita's fury. So I binned it.