This is what you might call “a found object”. There are many excellent and creative examples of “Engrish” on the internet. But Elisa Bowman’s recent discovery of Jinc Piao Chinese shower gel in an Auckland two-dollar shop sounds a note of caution for companies planning to launch products into English-speaking markets. Services such as Google’s Beta “automatic translation” or Babel Fish may be fun, but they don’t really cut the mustard for business use — or “slice the spicy ketchup”, as automatic translation tools might have it. And, if you do insist on automatic translating, don’t bother with your postal address — at least, not if you expect to receive any mail. To learn about Jinc Piao’s extraordinary shower gel you’re really going to have to do something other than read the packaging (although, judging by its arresting, er, fragrance, it really does “suck abundant milk nutrition quintessence”). On the other hand, if you want to experience more Engrish like this: “the milk whitens the shower juice moistly”, depress your wired rodent’s sinister knob now...