Terrific news that the pope has reaffirmed celibacy for Catholic clergy. With gays out (or in), and women being resolutely kept out of the sacerdotal loop, the seminaries will soon be swarming with young straight men.

I await with great anticipation the curt dismissal of any doubts around limbo, the reinstitution of the laundries for wayward women, and the enthusiastic revival of the Crusades.

Mind you, if the priests look like this, churches could have women rejoining the flock in, ah, droves.

This just in: more American women are taking the veil.