Column Comment 4
A most irregular series.
I have this theory
It’s the Stratford Theory of Numbers, and it goes like this: almost every number in a newspaper or magazine is wrong, because it has been misreported and/or misunderstood by the journalist.
This is because most journalists are innumerate. Baffled by statistics, they uncritically record survey results and the like without giving them the scrutiny they would to someone’s words. But even when no numbers are used in a report, they can come up with something like this, from the Sunday Star-Times:
“The hole in the ozone layer above the Antarctic is growing and is set to become the largest-ever, the Japan Meteorological Agency said yesterday. ‘At its largest, the hole is expected to be around the same size or a little smaller than it was in 2000…’.”
So it’s going to be the largest-ever, and slightly smaller than before. Or maybe the same. Whatever.
Animal farm
An English guinea-pig farm supplying animals to medical researchers has been forced to close by animal rights extremists. They not only harassed suppliers and employees, but also stole the body of Gladys Hammond, mother-in-law of one of the farmers, from its grave. The farm is closing in the hope that her body will be returned.
As the Economist points out, only 2% of scientific procedures on animals involve pain. And the benefits are inarguable: for example, cystic fibrosis is a terrible disease with no cure, but now GM mice can be created with the same genetic defects, so potential treatments can be investigated.
More examples in the Guardian’s response to the same incident, “What have guinea pigs ever done for us?”, which lists 10 major medical advances - penicillin, blood transfusion, tuberculosis, macular degeneration, asthma, meningitis, kidney transplants, breast cancer, Parkinson's disease and insulin – that depended on animal research. It outlines the experiments conducted, why animals were used, and the benefits to humanity. Millions of lives saved, basically.
As the Economist says, cats are far crueller than any researcher, and cause much more suffering to animals. (Have a look in your garden some time.) In Britain domestic cats kill 300 million animals a year including 80 million mice, 15 million rabbits and three million rats.
They should be used instead of guinea pigs. They have nine lives. That makes them ideal for experimentation.
Laddies who lunch
Apparently if you have a nice long lunch with a friend at Tribeca restaurant in Auckland and spend lots of money, say $1000, the restaurateur himself will drive you back to work and take your friend home, saving you the bother. Now that’s what I call service.
I have this theory
It’s the Stratford Theory of Numbers, and it goes like this: almost every number in a newspaper or magazine is wrong, because it has been misreported and/or misunderstood by the journalist.
This is because most journalists are innumerate. Baffled by statistics, they uncritically record survey results and the like without giving them the scrutiny they would to someone’s words. But even when no numbers are used in a report, they can come up with something like this, from the Sunday Star-Times:
“The hole in the ozone layer above the Antarctic is growing and is set to become the largest-ever, the Japan Meteorological Agency said yesterday. ‘At its largest, the hole is expected to be around the same size or a little smaller than it was in 2000…’.”
So it’s going to be the largest-ever, and slightly smaller than before. Or maybe the same. Whatever.
Animal farm
An English guinea-pig farm supplying animals to medical researchers has been forced to close by animal rights extremists. They not only harassed suppliers and employees, but also stole the body of Gladys Hammond, mother-in-law of one of the farmers, from its grave. The farm is closing in the hope that her body will be returned.
As the Economist points out, only 2% of scientific procedures on animals involve pain. And the benefits are inarguable: for example, cystic fibrosis is a terrible disease with no cure, but now GM mice can be created with the same genetic defects, so potential treatments can be investigated.
More examples in the Guardian’s response to the same incident, “What have guinea pigs ever done for us?”, which lists 10 major medical advances - penicillin, blood transfusion, tuberculosis, macular degeneration, asthma, meningitis, kidney transplants, breast cancer, Parkinson's disease and insulin – that depended on animal research. It outlines the experiments conducted, why animals were used, and the benefits to humanity. Millions of lives saved, basically.
As the Economist says, cats are far crueller than any researcher, and cause much more suffering to animals. (Have a look in your garden some time.) In Britain domestic cats kill 300 million animals a year including 80 million mice, 15 million rabbits and three million rats.
They should be used instead of guinea pigs. They have nine lives. That makes them ideal for experimentation.
Laddies who lunch
Apparently if you have a nice long lunch with a friend at Tribeca restaurant in Auckland and spend lots of money, say $1000, the restaurateur himself will drive you back to work and take your friend home, saving you the bother. Now that’s what I call service.
3 Comments:
"The Economist points out, only 2% of scientific procedures on animals involve pain." One might invoke the Stratford Theory of Numbers at this point, and ask, "How do they know?" How often do dentists, for example, make the inane assertion, "Don't worry, this won't hurt a bit..."?
What the article actually says is, "The great majority [of procedures] caused at most minor pain or distress, alleviated wherever necessary with painkillers or anaesthetic; only 2% caused severe pain or distress." That wouldn't be too difficult to judge. Even a dentist could tell.
Well ...
NZ Ministry of Agriculture recently released figures to do with NZ animal research.
Three hundred and eighteen thousand, four hundred and nineteen animals were used in 'research' last year. Of those, four thousand, eight hundred and four of them were subjected to,(Dept. Ag's words) - 'severe suffering.' And eleven thousand, four hundred and eighty nine, suffered 'very severe suffering'
Reading between the lines - 16,293 were subjected to and/or died in excruciating agony. It wasn't just a bunch of yukky old rats - no: cats dogs, horses, guinea pigs and so on.
I truly believe future generations will judge us for our treatment of animals. "I didn't know about it," will be no excuse.
The final irony is that the Animal Ethics committees which approve the experimentation are largely composed of animal researchers.
They meet in secret, arbitrarily approve experimentation - and the public are not allowed to know their names.
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