Spoilt for choice
Duncan Robertson writes:
Living in the leafy streets of the Epsom electorate, it appears I now have the power to change the government. We in Remuera have always thought that was a given, but I digress.
However, unlike some in the more bohemian suburbs, we in leafy Epsom take our electoral responsibilities seriously. So some voting advice please:
Rodney keeps shouting at me to vote Act every time I venture out, but there is something about a grown man humping my leg that I find a little unnerving.
My dear grey haired Mum intends voting Winston, which is why the elderly should lose their vote the moment they can no longer chew solids.
My wife thinks cauliflower; spinach and leeks are edible vegetables so there is a real danger she will vote Green.
My mother-in-law is voting Helen but hopefully dementia will kick in before then.
My father-in-law is voting Don because they both dress well.
My brother-in-law says he's voting Jim Anderton but I'm sure he will switch to that Legalise Cannabis mob the moment his rope sandals slip behind the electoral booth curtains.
The neighbours next door who drink and shout a lot will be voting Christian Heritage.
The neighbours on the other side will be voting the Maori Party because they said they went to one once and it was great.
Benson the Dog can't vote which is fortunate because whoever he supported would be dog tucker.
So I'm torn.
The Outdoor Recreation crowd because they like fishing?
Destiny New Zealand which is apparently promising to take a jar of hair cream and turn it in to Harley Davidsons for the multitude?
Or the One New Zealand Party in case it turns out there are two in the world and that would bugger our tourism industry?
Living in the leafy streets of the Epsom electorate, it appears I now have the power to change the government. We in Remuera have always thought that was a given, but I digress.
However, unlike some in the more bohemian suburbs, we in leafy Epsom take our electoral responsibilities seriously. So some voting advice please:
Rodney keeps shouting at me to vote Act every time I venture out, but there is something about a grown man humping my leg that I find a little unnerving.
My dear grey haired Mum intends voting Winston, which is why the elderly should lose their vote the moment they can no longer chew solids.
My wife thinks cauliflower; spinach and leeks are edible vegetables so there is a real danger she will vote Green.
My mother-in-law is voting Helen but hopefully dementia will kick in before then.
My father-in-law is voting Don because they both dress well.
My brother-in-law says he's voting Jim Anderton but I'm sure he will switch to that Legalise Cannabis mob the moment his rope sandals slip behind the electoral booth curtains.
The neighbours next door who drink and shout a lot will be voting Christian Heritage.
The neighbours on the other side will be voting the Maori Party because they said they went to one once and it was great.
Benson the Dog can't vote which is fortunate because whoever he supported would be dog tucker.
So I'm torn.
The Outdoor Recreation crowd because they like fishing?
Destiny New Zealand which is apparently promising to take a jar of hair cream and turn it in to Harley Davidsons for the multitude?
Or the One New Zealand Party in case it turns out there are two in the world and that would bugger our tourism industry?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home