The right is so amusing, when it’s desperate

I must say the political right is providing a lot of entertainment on the Helen Clark motorcade non-issue.

These guys are whipping themselves up into a huge lather trying to show that the person driving a car is not responsible for the speed it travels at. The person responsible, they say, is the one in the back seat.

Here’s their smoking gun:

I could see her, she was seated behind the driver and she was leaning over to her left, more towards the centre of vehicle so she could look ahead. She was looking in my direction past her driver... I don't know if she could see the speedo or not... she was definitely looking in my direction and I was looking at her face in the glimpses that I could see.

She was smiling and appeared to be enjoying the ride is how I would put it. Most definitely aware of what was going on in front of her and around her, and I can't recall her being engrossed in any paperwork.

She was “smiling” and “enjoying the ride”. Golly. Now if only they could prove she was driving the damn car they’d be onto something.

But no, the incident is proof she’s a megalomaniac, says Grant Tyrell.

Waimate police officer Clint Vallender told the court that as far as he was concerned if the Prime Minister wanted to get somewhere it was her privilege.

If she wants to get there, she gets there … as far as I’m concerned it’s her job.

No actually it’s your job, Clint, you and the other police and drivers involved. And it’s your job to obey the law just like everyone else and to take responsibility when you break it. And that's what's happened.

Racing NZ to the bottom

God Australians are competitive. They’ll turn anything into a contest. Today they declared a race to see who could have the lowest wages, and their warm-up is against New Zealand.

We all know, no matter how it is dressed up, that labour market reform is about screwing the workers. But you rarely get to hear its advocates admit that.

Today, Australians got a glimpse under the skirt of the proposed industrial reforms being marketed as delivering "More Jobs, Higher Wages, A Stronger Economy". Industry minister Ian Macfarlane dropped his guard saying Australia should cut its Labour costs to meet those of New Zealand, according to a report in the Sydney Morning Herald.

We've got to ensure that industrial relations reform continues so we have the labour prices of New Zealand. They reformed their industrial relations system a decade ago. We're already a decade behind the New Zealanders. There is no resting.

Whoops! Predictably he later denied he meant wages should be cut and his spokesperson “clarified” his comments saying labour prices could refer to a lot of extranous employment costs.

So, New Zealand, are you up to the challenge? Will we beat them to the bottom or are you going to meekly surrender yet another trophy?

If you’re up for a race, Don Brash is your man. You won’t see him lifting his skirt like Macfarlane, but he seems keen to give the Aussies a run for their money.

For starters, he wants to get rid of that extra week's holiday you’ve just been given.

If we are being generous, we could assume that the new law was passed with the best of intentions, rather than as a sop to Labour’s union friends. If that is the case, then it is misconceived. It is based on the fantasy that government can simply dial up an income for people, that government can somehow give more holidays to people without that cost affecting anybody, or perhaps with the cost confined to a small group of class enemies.

Okay, look Don, this is what I reckon. Kiwis are prepared to make sacrifices to see the country succeed. Most New Zealanders have been making those sacrifices for the past fifteen years. What you need to do, Don, is tell them when they are going to get the higher wages and better conditions you reckon will result from those sacrifices.

When will the pay-off come? Go on Don, put a date on it.

It shouldn’t be hard. You could even do it by a formula. You could say New Zealand can afford an extra week’s holiday after it has grown above the OECD average by, say, three per cent.

But of course he won’t do that because there is no pot of gold awaiting workers at the end of the growth rainbow. That pot of gold is called profits and it belongs to the shareholders.

Oh, and Don, whatever you do, don’t use the term “trickle down”.

Driven to distraction

Further to our earlier piece on NZ car habits , NZBC has seen an anonymous submission to an unreleased LTSA report on the quality of New Zealand driving – random quote: “It's really bad” - that makes some suggestions about who should have their licence removed:

Those who change lanes without indicating.

Those who brake before they indicate that they're turning.

Those who don't brake, don't indicate and make the turn anyway, laughing and giving the fingers to drivers behind.

Those who think The Drift or The Dart is as good as indicating.

Those who think indicating gives them a magical right to instantly change lanes.

Those who drive wearing baseball caps or beanies, who are not baseball players or freezing workers.

Anyone with mag wheels, lowered suspension, home-built turbos or spoilers, especially on their car.

Helen Clark.

The Governor General.

Asian drivers, apart from the good ones.

Red light runners.

Those who drive across intersections knowing the light is about to change, but “like, don't care”.

Anyone with an SUV, especially those who don't live in the wops and have a bog for a drive.

Anyone with a 'Baby on Board' yellow plastic tag in their back window.

Those who drive a Holden V8 but aren't taxi drivers.

Anyone who washes their car regularly.

Those who never wash their car.

Anyone carrying bikes on the towbar that are worth more than the car.

Anyone with a towbar.

Those who drive in summer without a shirt.

Those who drive in winter without a shirt.

Drivers sitting at the front of a traffic-lighted intersection who aren't in first gear at the change.

Those who can't do a hill start.

Those who leave big gaps in stop-start motorway traffic.

Those who jump into two-second-rule gaps.

Drivers on the open road who speed up for passing lanes but slow straight after.

Everyone else.

Labour retreads equity-sharing scheme

It was deja-vu all over again for me when I read the Herald this morning. “Labour plans equity scheme for first home buyers”.

Under the scheme, the Government would provide a portion of the purchase price to help low and middle income earners who found it difficult to save for a deposit and who might not have sufficient income to service a full commercial mortgage.

Apparently it worked quite well in the UK, says the Herald.

But what appears to have gone unnoticed is that Labour rolled this one out in the mid 80s and well I remember it.

You see dear reader, I was a young dad at the time thinking, “Jeez house prices are getting up. You can’t get much for under $50,000 these days. How am I ever going to get a deposit together?

Then we heard about this new Equity Sharing Scheme. Some of the details have faded from memory, but I remember we and a whole bunch of other poor families went into some sort of draw. We all had to troop down to a shabby government office where Phil Goff, wunderkind of his time, kept about 30 people with restless kids waiting for close to an hour beyond the scheduled time for the draw while he hobnobbed with the press, extracting every last ounce of publicity he could out of the event.

The kids got more restless and still he didn’t arrive to put us out of our misery. The kids started crying and running around and then, finally, Goff emerged to announce the lucky winners, each of whom would get brand new homes in Te Atatu North, West Auckland.

We didn’t win and in retrospect I am sure glad of that. The scheme turned out to be a bit of a crock as almost all the gains you can make from property in New Zealand, especially when you are on a low income, are capital gains. If you have to share those with someone you end up going backwards.

And if the market goes backwards, as believe it or not it sometimes does, you may as well be paying rent.

We were lucky. We managed to get into a home, courtesy of a “loan” from my parents (you know the kind that never gets paid back). We did alright over the next few years thanks to that.

If there is one word of advice I’d like to give to anyone in a similar situation, look at this scheme very, very carefully and do whatever you possibly can to get a deposit of your own together. Oh, and in the unlikely event Phil Goff is the government’s front-man, make sure he looks after his voters and their kids this time before he whores himself for the media.

The Spacemonkeys

It’s my great pleasure to announce the first annual NZBC Blog Awards, the Spacemonkeys! To enter do absolutely nothing because I’ve already made up my mind.

Having found myself in a blog surfing rut, going to the same old suspects over and bloody over, I decided to have a good tool around and see what else was on offer. You know, meet some new people, have a chat over the back fence …

So I went to www.globeofblogs.com and started working my way through the New Zealand blogs listed there.

Jesus you guys really do some crap blogs! I mean there were so many that were just dead or hadn’t been used in ages and others with the most awful colours. Freudian Slippers has a great name (though not as good as error404 – page not found) but despite declaring “even if you don't want my opinion you are going to get it anyway” there is nothing there. Similarly imagine hitting a link to Muse and finding your muse had flown.

Here's one that promises "a repository of articles, documents and links that reflect our intellectual and philosophical journey through the world of blended e-learning and knowledge management."

Maybe after a smoke, dude ...

Here’s skeleton racing (no, not a goth site) and blogs about martial arts and about opera, none of which I'm into so you all lose.

On the other hand Jimi Kumara’s blog (The Jimi Page) is funny as is the Vile File and error404- page not found is really extraordinarily good. Specialfarm has a bit of the Boingboing about it, and that’s a compliment.

Anyway, the votes are in and first annual NZBC New Zealand Web Log award goes to (drumroll, puhlease) …. Error404- page not found! Runners up were The Jimi Page, the Vile File and Specialfarm, in no particular order.

Congratulations one and all! Buy yourselves a drink.

By order of the Director-General, no further correspondence will be entered into.

Something fishy

NZBC recently sent junior reporter Joe Bowman to attend a three-day “High Level Thinking” course run by Bubble Dome at Point Chevalier Primary School, where he had a chance to try out its 3D programming, water science and creative thinking classes. Here is Joe’s report.

JOE BOWMAN — profile
Age: 10
Favourite subject at school: Writing
Hobbies: Computer, drawing, reading
Favourite song and artist: Incense and Peppermints, Strawberry Alarm Clock; Can’t Explain, The Who.
Favourite TV show: Futurama, The Simpsons, The Kumars at No. 42, Rove, The Young Ones
Favourite film: School of Rock
Wants to be: News Reporter in the Field
Favourite saying: “Heavy, man.”

Joe’s Report
**½
The website said we would learn about how special effects are made in movies, and how to animate 3D objects on the computer. I also liked the sound of modelling creatures in their own environments. This made up only about a third of the course, and we didn’t actually cover animation, special effects and creatures in their own environments. They also said they would be doing debating, but we only did a little bit right at the end of the course.

In 3D programming we made 3D houses and landscapes. This was the best thing about the course. In Water Science we made up a story about some people that lived underwater, learnt how things float, and experimented to make something that would stay buoyant in water. Creative Thinking was mainly about these things called Map Worms — an imaginary creature that helps you find your way. We had to think of ways we could use a Map Worm in everyday life. We had to imagine we were “Zinger Pingers” (a highly evolved species of bird-like dinosaur) living in the fictional setting “Zingulu Island”. This was quite interesting but got quite repetitive, as we did this every day.

There were good facilities, a cool playground and a nice-smelling library. However, the toilet wasn’t very easy to find.

The advertising was good but set my expectations too high. Also the hall smelt like fish. “3D animation”, as it was advertised, was not animated. But I learned how to use a 3D programme called Bruce, and a lot about water science.

I liked the playground and the creative thinking but I didn’t like the teachers because they showed rife favouritism to the turbo-nerds.

I give it a 2½ out of 5 and probably wouldn’t recommend it as the best thing to do if you could find something else.

Arrrooga!

New Zealand’s Land Transport Safety Authority says, “the horn should only be used as a traffic warning”. Unfortunately, most Auckland drivers had to go to the shop for their Mum on the day their driving instructor covered that, or were busy fine-tuning the electric motor on their FasTrax T04S turbocharger to minimise lag in the overhead Wankel gasket interface.

I was woken at 06:00 from a deep sleep on Saturday morning by approximately 27 seconds of unbroken, angry parping, so you can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be just another car horn — if a car horn can accurately be said to convey anger. It certainly seems most Auckland drivers have purchased the “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this any more” horn plug-in from that shouting bloke on the Discount Tyres ads, or perhaps the store that supplies those gizmos that let off an impotent theft alarm in seven tonal variations of panic, covering the entire audio frequency range. But that’s another blog.

I live on the sixth floor of a solidly built, 1930s apartment building. My hearing has been damaged by decades of loud music, and notes left regularly by Jehovah’s Witnesses threatening me with eternal damnation suggest I’m not a light sleeper. And yet I’m hounded by car horns inside my city apartment, let alone when I venture out — which, I admit, has become increasingly infrequent since a Starbucks opened in my kitchen.

What particularly interests me about this parping phenomenon, though, is what could possibly be happening on the roads in downtown Auckland at 06:00 on a Saturday morning to warrant the use of a horn. A kamikaze pigeon-of-death, hurling itself in front of the car in a flurry of feathers? The one and only car on what a real estate agent quaintly describes as “serene” Emily Place being cut-up by a passing rickshaw? A surprise Luftwaffe V2 rocket raid?

Returning to the road code, another lesser-known fact from it seems to be this one:

“Don’t sound your horn in a 50km/h area between 11pm and 7am, except in an emergency.” (My emphasis)

Judging by the nightly cacophony in downtown Auckland, there are untold emergencies for the city’s poor drivers to contend with. Or perhaps it’s merely that they’re unfamiliar with another sentence from that silly old road code:

“Don’t play a radio, cassettes or CDs in your car so loudly that you can’t hear horns, sirens or bells ringing.”

That must be it. Drivers can’t hear Carl Doy’s Piano By Candlelight on their eight-track cartridge players for all those confounded horns, sirens and bells going off, so they have to crank up the volume.

The drivers of fire engines (another antiquated term, but it’s too American to call them ‘trucks’ and as far as I know they’re still powered by engines) seem to have grasped this because nowadays their vehicles are not only equipped to whoop and wail but also to rumble and roar, thanks to those New York City Fire Department-style ship sirens with sub-bass boosters. And there must be a clause somewhere in the road code permitting them to deploy these at every intersection, all the way back from emergencies, as well as on their way to them.

But the LTSA isn’t just giving away the valuable intellectual property contained in the Official New Zealand Road Code willy-nilly, of course; supplying, as it does, vital information relating to cars, motorcycles and heavy vehicles. Oh no. It’ll cost you: “You can buy a copy from any good book store or driver licensing agency”, the LTSA tells us. Why use the internet to help drivers become safer and more considerate when you can get them to buy a book so they can swot up on the road code while they’re stuck at traffic lights, yielding to a convoy of fire engines rushing the firemen’s weekly Foodtown shopping back to the station?

Purchasing the LTSA’s little book can of course be a problem if you’ve already had to take out a second mortgage to buy your FasTrax T04S turbocharger, Acme “Seven Klaxons of the Apocalypse” car alarm and half a litre of petrol to get you to the dairy and back. Unlike such luxuries, a powerful two-tone horn is no longer an optional extra. It’s a statutory requirement; not only for letting other road users know that you’re there, but also for setting them straight when they’re in error — after all, every New Zealand motorist knows that they’re always right and the other guy’s always a wanker. And although the road code doesn’t explicitly cover advanced parping, Auckland drivers have been honing it to a fine art for almost a decade.

When a fellow Auckland driver sounds her horn at you because you’ve made some dumbarse manoeuvre, don’t just take it on the chin, you big wuss, retaliate in kind! Parp right back at her!

Overseas visitors and recent immigrants would do well to observe such niceties of local road-user etiquette and incorporate them into their palette of driver techniques as quickly as possible, so as to be seamlessly assimilated into the community. In fact, you’ll have every opportunity to observe such parping in everyday Auckland traffic situations.

A matter of days ago, for instance, I watched a car pull out into the traffic without indicating, while it was facing uphill on Shortland Street. Within milliseconds of the passing driver swerving and politely parping to let the culprit know that he’d had to take evasive action, the man driving the offending vehicle — ferrying an elderly lady passenger clutching her handbag — leant hard on his horn and accompanied this with a tirade of shouting that turned the air blue and the old lady’s face red. A fine example of advanced parping from which I’m sure we can all learn something: we owe it to other road users to enlarge our vocabulary and contribute to the transport communication protocol.

“I refuse to be humiliated!” this driver was saying staunchly. “Especially if I screw up while Mum’s in the car.” Good on yer, mate.

The OED adds new words to the English dictionary as soon as there are enough instances to prove adoption has become sufficiently widespread, and we here at the NZBC are currently lobbying the LTSA to ensure that this extended and highly useful vocabulary is incorporated into the New Zealand road code as soon as possible.

The potential variations, of course, are virtually endless, but here are just a few of our recommendations, from NZBC’s forthcoming Rough Guide to Advanced Parping:

Succession of five short parps at a pedestrian crossing or intersection: “You’re ugly and I don’t like your haircut.”
Intermittent blasts, one second apart for an indefinite period: “I don’t have a licence to drive, I’m not insured and I’m liable to write-off your car.”
Uninterrupted bursts for five seconds or more while queuing at a red light: “I was using the mirror to do my makeup and my pert breasts accidentally brushed against the horn.”
Periodic random parps, accompanied by swerving and erratic lane changing: “I have no idea where I am”, or alternatively, “I’m asleep with my head on the wheel”.
Excruciating two-tone, high-volume bursts, upwards of one minute in duration: “Look at me! Me! Me! I’m it, you’re shit! It’s a 4WD, you pleb, get out of my way!”
Staccato burst, rising to an imploring crescendo: “I’m late for work.”
Constant parping while driving at high speed: “The horn in this stolen piece-of-shit car got stuck as I was hotwiring it,” or “I’m proceeding in a south-westerly direction in this unmarked police vehicle, licence plate PL0D 1, in pursuit of the bastard who stole my patrol car.”

Last Friday morning’s Auckland parp action by the Employers’ and Manufacturers’ Association suggests the NZBC is on the right track with its recommendations to the LTSA. However, as it turns out, no one in Auckland could hear what the protest was about, thanks to a bunch of idiots sounding their car horns all the way through it. A subsequent NZBC investigation has uncovered a grassroots movement by Auckland motorists who will be voting with their horns at the forthcoming election. Not only is parping now a legitimate means of protesting when you don’t get your way in traffic, in future it will also be the method of choice for venting your frustration at the action or inaction of your government.

Drivers should be warned, however, that there are cautionary tales from around the world about what can happen to you if you don’t correctly observe local parping etiquette. Indeed, the language of parping is already so sophisticated and is evolving at such a pace that it’s difficult to keep up with all the regional nuances and cultural subtleties. Auckland seems particularly highly evolved in this regard, but first impressions can be deceptive.

To the drivers of Auckland I would just say the following. By international standards, only around 10% of you can actually drive. So the NZBC’s new road safety slogan is this: “Think once; think twice; think, ‘don’t draw unnecessary attention to yourself’.” Instead, why don’t you mount a campaign of silence against the noise pollution in the city, and parp! the arrrooga! up?

So long, David

David Lange may not have been as enthusiastic about economic reform as his finance minister, but he had the good sense to let Roger Douglas do what had to be done. He will be remembered as one of New Zealand’s greatest.

Unfortunately John Howard can’t quite bring himself to acknowledge that. Howard was far from fulsome in his praise in this Sydney Morning Herald report:

"He did lead a government that was very reformist, although it is fair to say that main driver of that reform was Roger Douglas, the finance minister," he told reporters.

"David Lange was a person who had a great capacity to communicate with the electorate. I respected him although I obviously disagreed very strongly with his decision to take New Zealand out of the ANZUS treaty.

"I never supported that but that that was a matter for the New Zealand people and the New Zealand government."

What Howard can’t bring himself to say is that in many ways Lange saved New Zealand. He can’t say that because he might then have to acknowledge that in Australia at around the same time the successive governments of Bob Hawke and Paul Keating did the same.

All of the most important economic reforms that both these countries enjoy today, the reforms that have driven growth on both sides of the Tasman, are the result of reformist Labour governments.

But what is most curious about Australia is that the Australian Labor Party can’t bring itself to acknowledge this either, and that is why it remains in the wilderness. The party acts as if it has repudiated that legacy, most strongly in regards to Keating. Until it comes to terms with its own heritage of liberal economic reforms, Labour in Australia will continue to have a tough time at the polls.

With David Lange's death, we should reflect on the fact that when Labour came to power it inherited an economy that was effectively a basket case. Millions had been wasted on failed Think Big policies and Rob Muldoon was prepared to destroy the economy rather than hand over power after he lost the election.

Lange was the leader of the party that brought about some of the most sweeping economic reforms the country had ever seen. He knew it had to be done and he knew Roger Douglas was the man to do it. That's wisdom.

It took five years for him to call for a break (not a halt) to those reforms. He deserves far more credit than Howard, for his own political and ideological reasons, is prepared to give.
Much better, for once, was Kim Beazley:

"He was a bloke of great wit and life, a marvellous orator, a genuinely funny man," he said. "We had our disagreements with him. We did not always see eye to eye, particularly on things relating to the United States alliance.

"But nevertheless he was a colossal political figure in New Zealand and he will be much mourned there."

"My sympathies go to his family and to his political organisation."

The ABC covered Lange's death with a segment on his career including his famous quip about Winston Peters, how he would have been in Parliament but was “detained by a full-length mirror”.

They also showed his resignation, when Geoffrey Palmer expressed how sorry he was to see his “old friend” go. It was a touching moment, until Lange shot back: “That’s good, because I’ve changed my mind!”

New Zealand bloggers of all political flavours have been respectful. David Farrar has more choice quotes here.

As to ANZUS and the nuclear free policy, no one has yet shown that it has done New Zealand an ounce of net harm.

David Lange was a big man in every sense.

Go on: find the time

From: Rob O'Neill
To: Esme Ridgeway
Subject: Prostate cancer query

Hi, I have a query regarding recent research on prostate cancer.

As I am sure you are aware, Australian researchers have discovered a link between masturbation and prostate cancer, reported by the BBC.

I quote: "They found those who had ejaculated the most between the ages of 20 and 50 were the least likely to develop the cancer. The protective effect was greatest while the men were in their 20s. Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life."

According to the report sex is no substitute.

Given prostate is the second-equal most common form of cancer in New Zealand, I was wondering if the cancer society had any plans to publicise these finding or to mount any public information campaigns on the benefits of frequent masturbation by men.

If so what form will these campaigns take? Will they be akin to the "Slip, slap, slop" skin cancer campaigns or recent breat cancer campaigns with TV advertising and so forth?

Cheers
Rob

From: Esme Ridgeway
To: Rob O'Neill
Subject: RE: Prostate cancer query
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005

Dear Rob,

There will have to be subsequent research to support the findings before the Cancer Society will include it in their preventative Cancer Strategies.

Cheers
Esme Ridgeway
Administration Manager
Cancer Society of NZ

From: Rob O'Neill
Sent: Friday, 5 August 2005
To: Esme Ridgeway
Subject: RE: Prostate cancer query

Okay, thanks Esme. So would you be interested in sponsoring or endorsing the public awareness campaign I launched today?

R


Dear Rob,
I do not speak for the society. There is a set proceedure for sponsorship and endorsement and we rarely do it. You need to wait for more research findings.

Sorry I cannot help.

Cheers Esme Ridgeway
Administration Manager
Cancer Society of NZ

Esme is a tough customer.

For what it's worth this post is dedicated to William Donaldson, aka "Henry Root" who died recently.

NZ Public Health – Reality v Fabrication

By John O'Neill

We are in election mode again and every medium is brimming with allegations that the public health system of New Zealand is collapsing or growing cancerously, underfunded or extravagant, bureaucratic or freewheeling - out of control. The opposition seeking to be government and the frustrated ideologues of privatisation come together in a frenzy of criticism. In order to generate what can pass for rational argument they trawl the statistics with a net so fine that that nothing escapes, however trivial. Having hauled all this material on board they throw back that which is excellent or good or even mediocre leaving the dregs from which they hope to ferment a storm.

Unfortunately we have become so accustomed to the game that we allow it to proceed without protest even though we know that, taken seriously, it would be to our serious disadvantage. It is time to tell the real story from our own experience and show those who would rob us of a treasure that we are awake to their sabotage.

It is 8.30 am on July 8, 2005. My wife and I wait, nervously holding hands, in one of several adjacent examination rooms for doctors to arrive. We had come a long way since June 18 when Eileen went rather casually to her Whangarei GP with a bothersome mouth ulcer. He took one look and sent her to an ear/nose/throat specialist for urgent attention. She was re-examined within two hours and a diagnosis of probable cancer confirmed. Biopsies were taken for pathology and we were offered the choice of free CT scan within two weeks or private CT scan within two days. We opted for the fast-track and slid seamlessly out to the private health service and then back to the public. Meanwhile we had been booked into Auckland Hospital for expert assessment.

My wife and I wait, nervously holding hands, in one of several adjacent examination rooms for doctors to arrive. From 8.30 to 12.30 on the day of the clinic we saw waves of experts from various disciplines, surgeons, radiotherapists, dentists, nurses, physios, speech therapists and others. Up to 30 people of many nationalities all came and saw and said little. We were released for lunch while they all got together and brainstormed the problem. Back to work and the surgeons sat us down and made their recommendations, asked for our agreement, dashed off to make arrangements and booked us for surgery on 18 July, ten days later. The pre-operative tests were all done there and then and a social worker came to assist with financial and support information. She then booked us into Domain Lodge for the two weeks of the procedure, jointly funded by Government and the Cancer Society. Further transport assistance was offered because of the distance we had to travel plus one adequate meal per day for the support person - me.

What a day that was! I thought then and am more convinced now that such comprehensive intervention would cost tens of thousands of dollars, even if it were available in a private insurance system. One would need to be the Pope or the President in any other country to even approximate the quality of service given freely to persons of many years and very few dollars and absolutely zero influence.

We presented on the day. The major surgery was done and 12 hours later, Eileen was in the critical care unit with one-on-one monitoring and nursing. Back to the surgery ward (a single room) on the following day and we were set on the rehabilitation and recuperation phase in modern, pleasant surroundings.

Okay, no TV provided. What a shame!

In the papers I read garbage almost daily which completely negates our experience. One says we in NZ have not mastered the knowledge economy and therefore cannot afford to provide the health services of richer countries such as Ireland. My extended family in that fortunate country hooted when I mentioned this. They simply could not believe the speed and efficiency with which we were moved through a complex process or the quality of care available to us. One can only assume that the purveyor of that opinion was ill-informed on both countries.

The plain fact is that our public health service walks on two legs, finance and commitment. We must understand that our taxes are our best insurance and private schemes are woefully deficient despite multiplying premium costs to the old and needy. Anyone who stands for office on the promise to assist private providers while cutting taxes is a destroyer of a system that has taken many decades to build.

Unfortunately we have short memories. All this should not have been a revelation to me. When our daughter was fighting pancreatic cancer two years ago we had not yet been squeezed out of health insurance by rising premiums. We felt vindicated in our support of the health provider over many years - until push came to shove and the best private hospital available flicked us over to the public system after one attempt at a palliative procedure.

Auckland Hospital persisted and restored some quality of life to her after no less than three attempts. It’s called commitment and it cannot coexist with the bottom line.

So, this year as in every election year, we are asked again to separate fact from fallacy and examine carefully the offers of saving a few dollars in taxes while “taking the fat” out of the health system which, in our experiences, is lean but never mean. It proves its efficiency daily and is the envy of the world.

National’s billboard botch-up

I spent a couple of hours driving from Auckland to Whangarei last Friday towards the end of a whistle-stop visit home. I’d been paying close attention to the various party billboards over the week and on balance had already given the billboard battle to Labour – despite early missteps.

I know a lot of bloggers got off on the National billboard campaign, contributing new ideas and such, and they also got the thumbs up from AUT lecturer Dave Bibby. But, at the risk of being a lone dissenter, as I was heading north I became more and more convinced their entire approach is misconceived.

Both major parties are using attack ads. There aren’t any punches being pulled on either side. However, one side, Labour, barely even acknowledges the other as a valid alternative while National has devoted half of each of its billboards to advertising its competition.

The National billboards not only sign over half of their space to Labour branding, they also carry a picture of Helen Clark. At first this seemed reasonable – if you are going to attack you have to show who you are attacking. But more and more as the miles (sorry, kilometres) slipped away it began to dawn on me how wrong this was.

In the first few days of a campaign people read the billboards but pretty soon they become background noise. When you are driving, they are always background noise. I had to keep reminding myself whose ads the National billboards were. Who were they advertising again?

The Labour billboards are not universally good. Some are effective and some aren’t. But what they do have in common is not conceding one inch (sorry, centimetre) of space to advertising National. No National colour, no picture of Don Brash. You are never in any doubt whose ads they are with each ending with the simple message: “You are better off with Labour”.

When I arrived in Whangarei the Northern Advocate was talking about Helen Clark’s recent visit. It was just after she appeared to have claimed the initiative by promising zero per cent student loans. Up north she was promising more surprises.

I have to say, too, that I heard the phrase “transformation leadership” being applied to Don Brash while I was over there. That would be fair enough, if he did more than promise tax cuts. There’s nothing very transformational about promising tax cuts when that’s exactly what everybody expects from both him and from National.

It’s more of the same.

For now, the parties are pretty much neck and neck. There’s a lot of policy yet to come and a long way to go in the campaign. But so far National has been predictable. They need to start surprising.